The Weird Mixture
by TheUltimateSomething
Summary: Severus Snape has plans for the Easter ball. Will he go through with them? Who is he taking? Read and find out!
1. Finding A Date

**Chapter 1. Finding a date  
****In which Severus is TOTALLY out of character, Ginny is ... slutty, Harry is slightly uncomfortable and I'm totally torturing you about not letting you in on the secret.**

"Draaacooo!" Severus cooed. He had a lot of make-up on and was wearing a bunny-costume.  
"NO! I will NOT be your date at the Easter Ball!" Draco snapped for the 486th time.  
"Aaaaah ... you're meeeeean."  
"Yeah. I know."  
Severus put his tongue out at Draco before disapparating back to his office. ... hold on just a second, Severus! You can't apparate inside Hogwarts!  
"Oh ... I forgot that."  
Then he disapparated back to Draco and started walking away instead. Now, that's better.  
"Hmmmm ... who am I going to invite for the Easter Ball? Hmmmm ... I'VE GOT IT! I need to prepare it, though."  
Severus ... what are you intending to do?  
"I won't tell YOU."  
Fine. ... what IS he going to do, anyway?

"Let me see ... er, I need Harry, Ginny and ... Hermione."  
Severus, tell me. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!  
"Won't tell you."  
Hrmph.  
"Now, get Harry, Ginny and Hermione to get over here."  
Why are you asking me? God, I'm good at playing innocent.  
"Because you are my writer. NO, I did NOT say creater, I said writer. 'cause I'm EXTREMELY out of character."  
Hey, don't blame me! Blame my crazy imagination!  
"Ok, then. Anyway, I need Harry, Ginny and Hermione, NOW."  
Tell me your plan, and I'll give them to you.  
"Hrmph. _Fine_."

I'm waiting?  
"I won't let ... _them_ ... hear it."  
Who?  
"The ... _readers_."  
Oh, fine. Whisper it in my ear, then.  
"*whispering*"  
**Oh, no, you won't!**  
"Oh, yes, I will."  
Fine. But for the Easter Ball only!  
"Okay, okay. Make my life miserable."  
Am I making your life miserable?  
"Yes."  
Aaaw.  
"Are you sorry?"  
Nope. **HEY GUYS! I'M MAKING SEVERUS SNAPE'S LIFE MISERABLE!** Nothing against you, though.  
"Yeah, right." Severus snorted. "Now, your promise."  
Okay, then. But remember: I'm your writer, and I can do whatever I want to you. If I want to.  
"Great."  
*Poof!* Harry, Hermione and Ginny suddenly came out of thin air.  
"Hey, what am I doing here!" they said, in unison.  
"Why do I wear clothes? They weren't there two seconds ago," Ginny mused. "And where's -"  
"Lalalalala, too much information!" Severus did NOT look happy. "Hey, you don't have to write down everything!"  
I haven't. For example, I haven't written your plan about using Harry, Hermione and Ginny to -  
"And you won't, either."  
Oh. Sorry.  
"So. On with my plan."

"I'm slightly uncomfortable," Harry said, slightly uncomfortable.  
"Well, THAT one wasn't necessary."  
I know, I know. Harry, keep talking. Severus doesn't like my writing. Now I'm going to sulk forever because I'm not good enough for him. :'( No, NOT that way.  
"Er ... okay."  
Why are you slightly uncomfortable?  
"Well, I guess I'm slightly uncomfortable with this whole situation."  
"Meaning?" Severus said, a little amused.  
"For the first, I'm slightly uncomfortable about you looking happy. Trust me, it is NOT good when Severus Snape is happy." Harry began. "Secondly, I'm slightly uncomfortable because the combination of me, Hermione and Ginny ..."  
Yes?  
"Well, I don't want to say it in front of everyone ..."  
Whisper in my ear.  
"*Whispers*"  
Aaah ... Severus, Harry has understood your plan.  
"Am I _that_ obvious?"  
Yup. Maybe you should just get on with the plan, then.  
"Okay."

**End of chapter! Did you like it? It is a two-shot, and the second chapter is written, but I think I'll wait for a review before I post it. Just to see if you like it!**


	2. A Mysterious Date

**Chapter 2. A *mysterious* date  
In which we jump to the Easter Ball, Severus has a *mysterious* date, everyone is utterly confused and letters are missing.**

Guess what? It's EASTER BALL!  
Severus came up from the dungeons with someone. Suddenly, all the teachers saw his way.  
"Severus! How coe - when - why -" Minerva was utterly confused.  
"Er ... Minerva, you aren't very understandable."  
Minerva blushed. "Hey! Why did you write down that?"  
I'm mean. And I love writing embarrassed people.  
"Hrph."  
You forgot the 'M'.  
"Sorry. I' out of ''s."  
I'll fix it for you. Here.  
"What's this?"  
An 'm&m'. Muggle sweets.  
"Ah. Mmmmm! That's good!"  
You can say 'M' again!  
"Yey! Thanks!"  
"Can w gt on with th story now? I'm starting to gt bord." Severus Snaped.  
Sure.  
"Hy! What did you intnd to write thr?"  
Something between 'Snape' and 'snapped'. You're out of 'E's, by the way.  
"So _that's_ what's buggring m!"  
Yup. Here, take an 'm&m', you too.  
"r ... an 'm&m' whn I'm out of ''s?"  
Yes. Turn it around.  
"Aaah. Yum. Can I say 'E' now?"  
Yes. You just did.  
"Oh."  
On with the story. Where were we? Oooh! Where Were We! WWW! Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!  
"Er ...? Minerva blushed."  
Yes. That takes tigers to tell.  
"_What?_"  
Just joking. Are all alligators allergic against almonds?  
"_ON WITH THE STORY_!"  
All right, all right. Minerva, you are utterly confused, and you are blushing too.  
"...okay."  
Now, you're supposed to explain what you meant, Minerva.  
"How do you know?"  
I'm your writer, remember?  
"Oh yeah."  
So. On ith the story. Damn. I lost my ''s. The letters in easley's izard heezes. Or here ere e. I'll take an 'm&m'. Upside don. That's it. I love Weasley's Wizard Wheezes! Now, where were we? Ah. On with the story. So. Minerva?  
"Yes?"  
The scene is yours.  
"Er ... okay. Severus!"  
"Yes?"  
"How come she's here? I mean ..."  
"Aaah ... it's just a little ... experiment. Which worked."  
Yey!  
"_What!"_  
'Which Worked'! I made you say it, and you did!  
"Eeer ... right." now _Severus_ looked utterly confused.  
"An experiment, you say? But how did you -" Minerva was stopped by Severus' *mysterious* date.  
"Severus, I really don't want this, but could we at least dance or something, as I don't have a choice? I'd like to enjoy myself at the very least!"  
"Okay, hun. Let's go."  
As they left for the dance floor, Severus' *mysterious* date wearing a very colourful costume, by the way, probably to look like an Easter Egg, Minerva turned to me again.  
"Did he just call her 'hun'?"  
Yup. You know he has a crush on her.  
"No, I didn't until now."  
Ooops ...

Anyway, Severus and his *mysterious* date went and enjoyed themselves on the dance floor, not stopping to dance until the Ball was over. Then, they went back down to the dungeons.  
"Did you have a nice time, hun?"  
"DON'T call me that."  
"Okay ... but did you?"  
"Well, it was ok."  
"Good." Severus sighed. "I guess I have to change you back now ..."  
He pointed his wand at her, but instead of changing into three certain students, she changed into a man. Not just any man either, but a certain childhood enemy of Severus.  
"Oh snap."  
E.  
"Huh?"  
Oh Snape.  
"God, have mercy."  
Sorry.  
"What happened?"  
Well, if you take Harry's looks, Ginny and Hermione's eyes, Ginny's bloodstatus and michievous side and Hermione's intellect, then it becomes James Potter.  
"Ah."  
But, of course: Harry's eyes, Ginny's hair, Hermione's bloodstatus and intellect and just Hermione and Ginny in femininity, then it becomes, as your experiment successfully did, Lily Evans.

**The End!**  
**I know. I'm mean.**


End file.
